02 This is Me
IRIS:
SOME GIRLS WANT A BARBIE;
SOME GIRLS WANT A GUN.
PLAYING HOUSE OR PLAYING WAR
ARE FINE IDEAS OF FUN.
AND YOU MIGHT THINK THE QUEER GIRL
WOULD CHOOSE A TRUCK OR GUN.
WELL, NOT THIS ONE.
WHEN I PLAYED HOUSE, I PLAYED IT WRONG,
THE GROWN-UPS ALWAYS SAID.
A GIRL AT HOME MUST HAVE A BOY
TO FALL IN LOVE AND WED.
AND WHEN I TOLD THEM THAT I WANTED
SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD,
“IT’S IN YOUR HEAD,” THEY SAID,
JUST IN YOUR HEAD.
IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, I PLAYED IT COOL.
I PUT THAT IN THE PAST.
I KISSED A BOY. MY PARENTS SAID,
“MY GOD, THAT HAPPENED FAST.”
AND WHILE EVERY SLUMBER PARTY
MADE ME FEEL AT HOME AT LAST,
I PASSED. I PASSED.
AND I SAID, “THIS IS ME!
THIS IS WHO I AM.
I’M JUST A GIRL LIKE OTHER GIRLS,
NOT ONE WHO LIKES OTHER GIRLS. NOT ME.
THIS IS ME.”
IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WENT ALL THE WAY.
I HOPED IT MIGHT BE FUN.
I CLOSED MY EYES AND SLIPPED AWAY,
AND CRIED WHEN IT WAS DONE.
I TOLD MY FRIENDS THAT IT WAS GREAT,
THAT THIS BOY IS THE ONE,
BUT I RUN.
I HAVE TO RUN.
‘CAUSE THAT’S NOT ME.
THAT’S NOT WHO I AM.
I’LL NEVER LET ANOTHER GUY
TOUCH ME. NO, I’D RATHER DIE
THAN BE NOT ME.
SOME GIRLS PLAY WITH DIRT.
SOME GIRLS PLAY WITH MAKEUP.
SOME GIRLS LIVE WITH HURT;
OTHERS NEVER WAKE UP.
BUT MAYBE IF I GO ON,
I’LL BE WHO I’M MEANT TO BE.
I’LL BE ME.
AND I’LL SAY,
“THIS IS ME!
THIS IS WHO I AM.
THERE’S NOTHING HERE TO PRAISE OR MOURN,
JUST THE GIRL THAT I WAS BORN TO BE.”
SO, DOUBT ME, BELIEVE ME,
HOLD ME OR LEAVE ME,
LOVE ME OR GRIEVE ME,
BUT THIS:
THIS IS ME!